October 14th 2009

I am sitting here at my desk on a cold Wednesday morning in October and just wondering what God has in store for us. It seems like he is trying to show Sharalyn and I so many different things and teach us lessons all the time. I just hope that I am open to totally understand what he wants us to do and become.

Yesterday we had her check-up to see how her FAP is progressing and the doctor said that she needs to have the second surgery sooner than later. This brings up many different concerns for our family that we are now praying about and trying to leave up in God's hands. I know that he has a plan and will guide the steps of us and the doctors. It is very nerve racking to think about the surgery and what will happen. I just pray that this will bring us all closer together and that we will rely on God to take control and protect all of us.

I think the Lord is also trying to teach us a lesson about money. We are trying to be good stewards of what God has given us. It seems like we are constantly having to look at our money and we always make our bills but it is constantly very close and no money to save. With that being said, we haven't had any of Sharalyn's pay checks yet and we have been able to get by. So hopefully we will be able to take her paychecks and play all of it towards bills and savings so that we can purchase a home. I am leaving it to God though, because he has been merciful and provided for us so much and we are able to live on what I am currently making.

There is this nagging feeling that I think God has placed on my mind and heart that I should be doing more or something different than what I am doing now. I feel like I am suppose to be doing a different job or career and I just don't know what that is suppose to be yet. I have always wanted to start my own business, but I don't know if that is just me and my selfish desires or if that is God. I don't know if I am suppose to work at a different company or be switching my career all together. I am lifting this up to him as well, because I want him to place me where he would have me. I do not want to be the "leader" of my own life, but I want him to be the author of my life.

I do have to say that I am truly blessed despite all of things going on at the current moment. I have a beautiful and loving wife who is constantly there for me and that I love with all of my heart. She is an amazing woman who keeps me grounded and provides the needed stability in my life, a perfect partner who I can lean on to go forward in this life as God as our pilot. I also have an amazingly great daughter who is just an absolute joy. She brings so much happiness, love, and joy to our lives. I thank God everyday for giving her to us and the blessing that she is. I pray that God continues to walk before her and keep her safe. That she will grow to be a beautiful woman who loves and honors God and works for him.

Thank you for all that I have and all that you have done. I lift all up to your hands, you are the author of time, the all mighty creator. I give all my my cares and worries to you and know that you will help guide my family in the direction that you would have us. THANK YOU!!!