October 14th 2009

I am sitting here at my desk on a cold Wednesday morning in October and just wondering what God has in store for us. It seems like he is trying to show Sharalyn and I so many different things and teach us lessons all the time. I just hope that I am open to totally understand what he wants us to do and become.

Yesterday we had her check-up to see how her FAP is progressing and the doctor said that she needs to have the second surgery sooner than later. This brings up many different concerns for our family that we are now praying about and trying to leave up in God's hands. I know that he has a plan and will guide the steps of us and the doctors. It is very nerve racking to think about the surgery and what will happen. I just pray that this will bring us all closer together and that we will rely on God to take control and protect all of us.

I think the Lord is also trying to teach us a lesson about money. We are trying to be good stewards of what God has given us. It seems like we are constantly having to look at our money and we always make our bills but it is constantly very close and no money to save. With that being said, we haven't had any of Sharalyn's pay checks yet and we have been able to get by. So hopefully we will be able to take her paychecks and play all of it towards bills and savings so that we can purchase a home. I am leaving it to God though, because he has been merciful and provided for us so much and we are able to live on what I am currently making.

There is this nagging feeling that I think God has placed on my mind and heart that I should be doing more or something different than what I am doing now. I feel like I am suppose to be doing a different job or career and I just don't know what that is suppose to be yet. I have always wanted to start my own business, but I don't know if that is just me and my selfish desires or if that is God. I don't know if I am suppose to work at a different company or be switching my career all together. I am lifting this up to him as well, because I want him to place me where he would have me. I do not want to be the "leader" of my own life, but I want him to be the author of my life.

I do have to say that I am truly blessed despite all of things going on at the current moment. I have a beautiful and loving wife who is constantly there for me and that I love with all of my heart. She is an amazing woman who keeps me grounded and provides the needed stability in my life, a perfect partner who I can lean on to go forward in this life as God as our pilot. I also have an amazingly great daughter who is just an absolute joy. She brings so much happiness, love, and joy to our lives. I thank God everyday for giving her to us and the blessing that she is. I pray that God continues to walk before her and keep her safe. That she will grow to be a beautiful woman who loves and honors God and works for him.

Thank you for all that I have and all that you have done. I lift all up to your hands, you are the author of time, the all mighty creator. I give all my my cares and worries to you and know that you will help guide my family in the direction that you would have us. THANK YOU!!!

I can't wait to be out of this office and in Virginia Beach!!!  I love being close to Dave and Robin and I am going to miss having Zeus close by but I am ready to get out of Syracuse!!!!!

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Week of July 4th

So Adalyn is now a month old and things are going really good. It has been a little hectic trying to get use to taking care of a little one, but we are both adjusting really well. Adalyn is an amazing little girl and takes everything in stride, she is so text book so far and just an absolute joy to have in out lives. I just hope that I will be a good father and be able to raise her in the best way possible.

I am trying everyday to like living in upstate NY but things are difficult and it is very depressing here. I just can't wait for the day that I am able to move back to VA Beach and be close to my family. There just isn't anything here that is attractive and would make me want to stay. The city is falling apart and all industry is leaving the area. So we will see, like I said I am try to stay positive about living here but it isn't easy.

Things are going alright at work, I have issues with the way things are being run and with my boss, but I guess things could be worse. I just keep trying to get through and do my best, I guess that is all that anyone can do.

This week my family is going to be coming up to NY and I am really excited about that. It will be their first time seeing Adalyn and they are all extremely excited about it! It will be good to see them and hang out with all of them. This weekend will be a good time!!!

Well, I have work to do so I have to go for now.

Crazy Time

It has been a little while since I have posted to this blog, I need to make sure that I most more regularly. I have been so busy lately that I have been forgetting to login and write down the thoughts, ideas, and expectations of a late 20's professional.

Like I said, I have been extremely busy lately which is both good and bad. I have been working like crazy to advance my career (which I don't know if I am doing what I really want to do or love, but that is a different topic), I have been doing school to finish my degree, and getting everything together for my first child. I enjoy the place that I am at right now in my life with many changes happening and new adventures on the horizon.

My wife is getting closer and closer to having our first child, actually yesterday or this morning the baby dropped, so things are definitely starting to move quicker now. I am a little nervous about having a kid, more just nervous that I will be a good father and raise this kid correctly. This is a huge responsibility, a baby is a blank slate and you want to fill this child's life with happy experiences and teach them as much as you can. I guess the only thing that you can do is just try your best and raise them in the values and beliefs that you have.

My professional life is getting a little exciting lately. The company that I am currently working for is possibly going to strike a deal with a major company which would put us on the map and we would grow exponentially. This is going to create a great deal of room for advancement which I am excited about and hopefully an increase in pay as well so that my wife can start working only part-time and stay at home with the baby. It is really exciting and I can't wait to see how this whole thing plays out.

Well as always there will be more to come........ hopefully a little more regularly.

Rainy Day in Upstate

Today is finally Friday and I couldn't be more excited about this small fact. This week has just been so long and I am ready for it to end. Having to work, do school, and have an active role in my marriage is draining to say the least, but somehow I always seem to have the energy to get through it all. I just can't wait for the day that I am done with school and don't have to worry about classes any longer.

We went to the OB last night for our 30 week check up and everything was looking good with the baby and with mom. During the visit the doctor was able to show us how the baby was currently positioned in the belly, so that was cool to feel it's little head and feet. I am very happy that things have gone smoothly and that everyone is happy and healthy.

I have to say that I am so fed up with upstate NY and I can't wait for the day that I am leaving this state with all of my possessions in toe. This city and state is just awful and I wish I was back in VA Beach with family and friends. This city and the entire upstate economy is just terrible and depressing that I don't know why anyone would live here. There is absolutely nothing that this city has to offer anyone professionally and socially. I just heard yesterday that they are going to lift the gas cap here in my county, which means they can tax more for fuel and that we could see $4 a gallon of gas very soon. This is the same state that has some of the highest taxes in the country. Of course this fuels my thoughts of why anyone would choose to live here. With currently high taxes and taxes that are going to get even higher, a depressed economy, a city that is dieing, businesses closing every week, and crime continuing to escalate this is no place to raise a family. I guess we will see if I am able to convince my wife to move to VA Beach sooner than later.

Well after that rant, I guess I will get to work.

More later.....

Just another day

Today looks like it is going to be just another day in a regular life in a regular town. This is of course fine for me and I am happy with where I am at in life. I have a beautiful wife who is pregnant with our first child and we are financially stable. This of course all could have changed last night with the drawing of the mega millions lottery. I guess that is why I entitled this blog spot just another day. The office that I am working in currently had a lottery pool this week to try and win the $135 million dollar lottery jackpot. This of course didn't happen and all we won was $3, but the thought and the dream of winning that enormous amount of money was fun. The thoughts and dreams are what keeps us going, it is our desire for a better life that keeps use on track. The talks yesterday in the office were interesting among those of use that pooled our money together for the lottery, because each one of us had different desires and ways that they would better their lives. If we had won it would have changed all of our lives and of course we would like to think that it would be for the better, but who is to say that would have really happened. We might have won and then become miserable and not happier with millions in the bank than we were when we only had a few thousand. So I ponder the idea that maybe it is better to play these types of games, like the lottery, so that we can keep dreaming and not actually winning. Is dreaming and the desire for a better life actually better than having these cars, houses, diamonds, vacations, and other material items that we yearn to have.

Thoughts for this regular morning, in a regular life, in a regular town......